Sudan: A Case of Miscommunication

“Hi Mama.” “Hello darling. Are you having a good time with Daddy?” “Yes Mama. We went to the movies after school yesterday. Mama, can I ask you something?” “Eleanor, the line’s very bad. I can’t hear. Did you say something?” “Yes Mama. I have to do a project for school. About Sudan. Do you know anything?” “What honey? No one is suing your dad. He’s a lawyer. He sues people for a living.” “I know that Mama. I asked about the Sudan.” “Darling I have to go. Your Granma wants to say hello. Love you.” “Eleanor? How’s my little cupcake?”

“Hello Granma. I’m fine. Do you know anything about Sudan?” “Sue and Dan? Of course. But things like that aren’t for little girls’ ears. Lips and kissing and nonsense like that. Where did you hear about them?” “My teacher told me. But I don’t understand Granma. Sudan is a country in Africa.” “Sue and Dan are going to Africa? Oh my! I wonder if Dan’s wife knows. Sweetheart, I have to call Kathy. You must come visit soon. Granma loves you!” “Bye Granma.” “Eleanor? Have you finished on the phone? How’s your mother?” “She’s okay. Daddy? Do you know anything about Sudan?” “How did you find out about that?” “My teacher told me I had to ask my parents about it.” “Really? Well, all I know about it is Dan gave Sue a huge diamond necklace and a bun in the oven, and now Kathy is divorcing him. Very ugly. Sue can barely hold her head up in public now.” “Daddy I’m confused.” “Eleanor, honey; come into the kitchen. I can barely hear you and I need help making supper anyway.” “Coming Daddy.” ================================================= “Well class. Yesterday I told you to go home and find out about different places. Who wants to go first? Dean? Alright come to the front of the class.” “Egypt. Egypt is in Africa. Years and years ago, people built the pyramids there, and the Sphinx and a beautiful lady called Cleo - Cleopatra lived there. Moses was also born in Egypt.” “Thank you Dean. Who’s next? Eleanor?” “Yes Mrs. Williams. My country was the Sudan. I asked my mommy about it first and she said that people sue the lawyers there for a living. Granma wanted to know why you told me about that and said it wasn’t for little girls to know. I think they must do something bad to little girls there. Then my daddy said that the people’s heads always nod because they wear such heavy necklaces. They must have very sore necks. Maybe they make little girls wear really heavy necklaces? And I think there are a lot of people called Sue and Dan there. Daddy said that Sue couldn’t hold her head up in public so she must wear a necklace too. Oh, and they eat buns that they bake in ovens. Mrs. Williams? Are you alright? Your face is all red. Mrs. Williams, why are you snorting like a pig? Mrs. Williams?”

Marriage Test

Once upon a time in China, there lived a happy couple, Mr. & Mrs.Chan with their 3 lovely daughters; Elaine, Ena & Ella. The 3 daughters were brought up in a prim-and-proper way and when they reached 20, they were still virgins. Years passed, and it was time to get them married. So, the parents found them the most suitable "leng chais" (handsome guys). They got married and were preparing to set-off on their honeymoon. As 'concerned' parents, Mr.& Mrs. Chan were curious about their daughters' > first-night experience. So, before the daughters went on their respective honeymoons, Mrs. Chan told them, "Your father & I want to know about your 1st night encounters and whether you are satisfied. Write a letter to
us, but as not to raise your husbands' curiosity... you all must use a code to describe your experiences". So, the excited daughters were off. A week passed. Mr. & Mrs. Chan got the first letter. It was from Elaine. They opened the letter and found the word STANDARD CHARTERED. They immediately took the newspaper and looked for the Standard Chartered advertisement. "Ah! Here it is!!!!" exclaimed Mr. Chan. The motto for Standard Chartered was...."BIG, STRONG & FRIENDLY." Mr & Mrs. Chan were happy. A week later, they got another letter. This time it was from Ena. The content was simple. "NESCAFE". So again they took the newspaper and looked for the Nescafe ad. "Ah! here it is..... 'NESCAFE: PLEASURE TILL THE LAST DROP.' Mr. and Mrs. Chan jumped for joy. Another week passed. A month passed. 2 months passed. There was still no letter from Ella. The Chans became worried. Finally, the letter came. It was scribbled and could hardly be read, but Mrs. > Chan managed to figure it out. The code was "PHILIPPINE AIRLINES".
Mr. Chan, confused on why she chose Philippine Airlines, rushed to the nearest store and got a newspaper. He flipped the pages frantically. ......"Ah! Here it is!!!" Mrs. Chan grabbed the page and read aloud. Before she could finish ... THUMP!!!... she fell off her chair...

The Airline 's motto was..."7 TIMES A WEEK…….4 TO 6 TIMES A DAY…. NON-STOP."